a lot of times

i think why do things go wrong. & then when the same problem comes around.. i'm like oh that's why. it's my fault. & here it goes again. i hate myself for it. i have no courage. why can't i just stand up for myself & just grab it before it's taken away from my hands. i know when i have a good thing in my hands. & if i don't keep holding on to it.. it'll go away.. & it'll happen all over again.. or maybe it'll just.. stop.